After the Rapture

This video was posted by YouTube’s TheThinkingAtheist on May 21, 2011:

RADIO ANNOUNCER: On May 21st 2011 at 1:27pm Eastern Time, billions of people suddenly vanished. Witnesses report hearing a loud trumpet, followed by a blinding flash of light and the sudden disappearance of men, women, and children everywhere.

Christian homes, suddenly empty, are now providing free clothing, furniture, and appliances to be donated to the poor. The dramatic decrease in motor vehicles on the road is reducing the demand for fossil fuels, driving gas prices down to 1.93 a gallon.

TBN, the Trinity Broadcasting Network, is now CSBN (Carl Sagan Broadcasting Network).

Prison populations have virtually disappeared.

Recycled bibles are now being used to make juice and milk containers for school children.

Former religious institutions are now being used for exploration, health, science, and recreation including facilities for laser tag (the Vatican), the world’s largest Jupiter Jump (The Creation Museum), and the worldwide distribution of Darwin Genuine Draft (Liberty University).

Our planet now has more money, more food, more space, more resources, more education, and more common sense than ever experienced in recorded history. There is a sense of joy, of jubilation, of freedom. The world unites in celebration in the wake of– *phone rings* — Hello?

CALLER: Hi, is this News 1550?

ANNOUNCER: Yes.

CALLER: Hey, uh, the Christians are all still here.

ANNOUNCER: Really? All of them?

CALLER: Yeah. Nothing happened. They’re all still here.

ANNOUNCER: Shit.

Life really would be better if all the irrational spouters of hate, bigotry, and intolerance disappeared.

See also: TheThinkingAtheist.com