Thank god!

Thank god for a good fall-back when I don’t feel like thanking the people directly responsible for the situation for which I’m thankful because let’s face it, they don’t deserve any credit for my happiness and it’s just easier to accredit any and all positive happenings to an invisible sky-wizard for which there is no evidence; and also for run-on sentences.

Stop thanking god when good people do good things. Seriously. Maybe I’m just being pedantic and nitpicking when I get offended by this, but it irritates me. I’m not saying you need to sing praises when I do something nice for you, or even that I deserve credit; but the credit certainly shouldn’t be going to somebody else!

If nothing else, thank goodness.

Somebody once told me that “the goodness of Jesus shines through” me. No. Fuck you. The goodness of me is what’s shining through me.


Church of Body Modification

Okay, so first I stumbled upon this article about the ACLU fighting for the rights of a teenager at school who was suspended for having a pierced nose. Her defense? She’s a member of the Church of Body Modification, so her suspension is a form of religious discrimination.

Which prompted me to visit the “church”‘s website and submit an application to become a member:

from Church of Body Modification <>
subject CoBM Membership Application

My name is Chris Carter and I am the President of the Church of Body Modification. I must inform you that your membership application has been turned down. With some exception, this is because you either did not fill out all three essay type questions or you filled out all the questions but with only a single sentence or with limited detail.

Please understand that the application is our way of getting to know potential members and that the CoBM is a legitimate religious organization, a Church. We must make sure that the members we approve will fit in and that they understand, accept, and also follow the beliefs that brings us together. If you are not sure what these beliefs are, please read the Statement of Faith as well as our Mission Statement; both documents can be found on our main website,

If you have any questions, or if you would like help in expressing your feelings in written form, please write back and let me know. I, or a fellow minister, would be happy to assist you. I hope you see this denial as a small hurdle and that, after realizing how serious the CoBM is and how important the membership application is, you reapply for membership. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Thank you,
Chris Carter
Church of Body Modification, President
Mr. Chris Carter, President of the Church of Body Modification

My deepest apologies. I did not notice the part of your application where it stated I must answer each question with an essay in order to be considered for membership into your church. I thought that for a church whose members find their spirituality in body modification that perhaps “I find body modification to be spiritually fulfilling” would be a sufficient answer to be considered.

I don’t think I specifically included that particular phrase in my membership application (though to be honest, I can’t think of many churches with an application procedure), so please reconsider my application when I tell you now that I find spiritual meaning in body modification, and feel a great sense of euphoria and connection between my body and my self when being tattooed or pierced.

Thank you for your (re)consideration,
(Atheist Dave)

What if God Disappeared?

The following video was created and uploaded to YouTube by Edward Current. It asks the question What if god disappeared? and goes on to explain how the world would be affected. One example is that since god is the one who gives us a sense of cuteness and love, a puppy will no longer be adorable but will instead just be another object that we could “have sex with, if we wanted to.”