What would I say if I died and met god?

First, look, obviously now I’ll acknowledge that you exist. That, or I’m not dead and I’m in such a state that I’m either dreaming or hallucinating your existence. Don’t want to rule that out. Great. So anyway, here I am and here you are. I guess I ought to ask for your forgiveness: you see, I simply wasn’t convinced you existed. Whether I was “created” stubborn, or the evidence (which couldn’t be explained some other way) truly wasn’t there, I just wasn’t convinced. I’m not the only one, either; there’s millions of us — billions, even! Yes, obviously we’re all wrong because, again, there you are. Unless I’m hallucinating which, frankly, I probably am. But in case I’m not, there you have it. Whether I’ll ever truly believe you exist — whether I‘m ever convinced I’m not dreaming or hallucinating — I’ll acknowledge that right here, right now, I see you, and I’m speaking to you directly instead of telepathically, as many people throughout my life would have told me to consider. I’m sorry, but there just isn’t evidence enough to convince me that telepathic communication is an actual thing.

This brings me to my second point: if you are what everybody seems to think you are, then fuck you. No, really, fuck you. Are you powerful enough to prevent things like disease, starvation, and for lack of a better word, evil? Then why do these things cause such suffering? Why do they exist at all? Why do good people — many of whom believe in and worship you — suffer these ailments? Why do natural disasters destroy people’s properties and livelihoods, even kill them in many cases? If you told me you could prevent any and all suffering or you could give me “free will” (yet still punish me, as people will claim, for not being convinced you exist until it’s too late), I’d choose the no-suffering option. Yeah, I would completely forfeit my free will if it meant nobody anywhere would ever hurt or be unhappy. So fuck you. (Especially if you’ll overlook that virtue of mine when deciding whether or not I should be punished, not for a long time, but for eternity.)

Unless, y’know, none of that business is true. Did you create everything and then continue to watch over us, powerless, as we hurt ourselves? I can really, honestly, forgive you for that. Why fault you for something you couldn’t prevent? For the exact same reason, I won’t blame my housecat for the ongoing bigotry, prejudice, hatred, and wars in the world. Then again, if my housecat was powerful enough to create, y’know, everything, I’d hope it would be responsible enough to create everything right. But I’ve watched enough movies and read enough books to realize that not everybody with such great power will use it so responsibly. Sometimes people just get carried away. Maybe you discovered you had the power to create human beings with a snap of your fingers and just started snapping without thinking of what we may do to ourselves or, worse, to others. So if that’s what happened and you’re ready to admit it and acknowledge that you may have made some mistakes along the way, then I’m ready to forgive you for it.

But, of course, for the same reasons I won’t get on my knees and worship my housecat, I really hope you don’t expect me to do that for you.

So in short, if you are capable of preventing pain but actively chose not to, fuck you. If you’re incapable of preventing pain (but would if you could), then I can’t hold that against you. But I will not, ever, under any circumstances, worship you.

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About A. Dave

Dave is an atheist living in the middle of the Bible Belt. Among other things Dave does not believe in are unicorns, dragons, the Bogeyman, leprechauns, and Russell's Teapot.

10 thoughts on “What would I say if I died and met god?

    • Funny that you use the term ‘brown-nosing’ considering it generally implies a disingenuous kissing up for the sake of one’s own benefit. You don’t suppose God would be able to see through disingenuousness? And if he did yet only cared that you said the words, regardless of their sincerity, wouldn’t that strike you as pretty egotistical & petty?

  1. I would also say, why didn’t you give us some clear evidence for your existence instead of ambiguous hints? Why didn’t you just appear every day in front of everyone and remind us that we really needed to start listening to you?

  2. I might also add something like “so…you obviously know I didn’t believe in you (unless you’re not omniscient like I’ve always been told), so why am I here? Was Jefferson right in saying you valued reason above blind-folded fear? Also, who was right? Also, why was it so bloody confusing to know who was right?”

    However, since you focus so much on the Problem of Evil in this post, I’m thinking you had something in mind when you wrote it that you didn’t just come out and say. But yeah, there’d be a lot of questions…

      • Nope. I am an ex-atheist and I thought faith was all nonsense.

        But I guarantee you, that People who have faith that God is good will see his goodness to them one day.

        This life is a test of this one question:
        Will you trust the one who made you despite the hurt you feel? Or will you trust yourself.

        Hell is an existence without God. So if you choose to trust yourself, God will take away his light from you, and you will live by yourself in utter darkness(HELL)

        Stop a minute.
        What will you good do you see in this life other than vain pleasures like good food, friends and sex? There is a hole in every humans heart. When you pleasure party hard and when the party ends, you can feel the meaningless of life and you realize that there is more to life than this vanity.

  3. @David

    Not all atheists agree on all matters. And didn’t your god say that you’re not to be judging others?

    Good post Atheist Dave!

  4. God, if you cannot be found by reason and logic, you do not exist. For me as a being of logic and reason, I am limited to fact in my understanding. You as an unlimited being certainly have the ability to come to my aid and communicate to me in my limited manner when I seek you in what people believe to be your revealed words. After all, you created all and that should include facts. Sorry, you do not seem to be so Godly after all, you lost me!

  5. “”But I will not, ever, under any circumstances, worship you.””

    You sounded pretty very innocent until this last part. Why do you say that? Is God obliged to create people and let them be happy and they don’t have to give one thought about the very one who created them?

    Don’t you think he is worthy, (if he created a world of no pain but happyness) of worship?
    After all, we are just the humble creation that are experiencing his goodness.

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