Why Don’t Bees Go to Heaven?

So why don’t bees go to Heaven?
Trees go to Heaven?
Amoeba, krill, and fleas go to Heaven?
It’s not surprisin’ that they’re not arisin’
‘Cos man created god.
-by Ronnie Williams

Why Don’t Bees Go to Heaven?

I remember hanging out with some friends at a skate park during my freshman year of high school (for the record, I was not a “skater”) when a religious dope approached us with a handful of pamphlets. He started handing them out to us since we were, after all, just a bunch of hoodlums who needed to be saved, and he was telling us about his god. I stopped him at one point and asked him if my dog would also go to Heaven.

HIM: Excuse me?”
ME: My dog. Will she go to Heaven too?
HIM: No.
ME: Why not?
HIM: Because animals don’t have souls like people.
ME: Then fuck your god.

My freshman year was a time when I was still questioning whether or not I actually believed any gods existed, so I was very fragile. To be told that the Christian god would accept me into Heaven (provided I believed in it) but not my dog Cocoa was terrifying and heartbreaking. Obviously they didn’t believe in a god who was in any way benevolent or cared about our happiness. I couldn’t imagine a god existing who so hated us that he would damn us to an eternity without our closest companions.

Without dogs, bees, trees, krill, whales, worms, and orangutans, and all the things that make life so beautiful and worthwhile, Heaven must be awfully boring. Count me out.

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